Why Visit Someone with Dementia?

Visiting a friend or relative with memory loss can be daunting. What will you say? What if she doesn't remember you? What if he is inappropriate? If you are taking your child, will she be nervous or scared around the other residents? What about the smell? There are so many potential barriers to a simple visit.

So, take a deep breath, and relax. PLEASE GO VISIT. Period. Perhaps I should change that- exclamation point is better- GO VISIT!! Or pick up the phone, and at least call, if they are able to talk on the phone. Ultimately, that friend or relative will have a better day if you visit. Whether they can carry on a full conversation with you about your high school high jinks together or they have no clue what you are talking about, they are human, complete with the full range of emotions that we all enjoy. Sadly, loneliness and boredom often occupy much of your time when you are suffering from memory loss. People treat you differently, talking to you as if you were less intelligent or perhaps deaf. Even if you don't catch a punch line, you can share a hearty belly laugh with someone.

So, here are a few suggestions for an easier visit:

1. Bring pictures, especially of you and your friend together.

2. Use technology- iPhones, iPads, and laptops are wonderful for sharing pictures or for finding images of special places and events (think the Grand Canyon or the Olympics) to chat about.

3. Music- again, the MP3 players are terrific for finding a tune or a snippit of a song.

4. Avoid food that requires utensils, but finger foods like french fries, or a small ice cream cone can be a delight to enjoy together if conversation is a challenge. (Obviously, check with your friend's caregiver for appropriate food choices.)

5. Consider a "Sunday drive". Often folks enjoy simply getting out and about for a short car ride. Pop on the radio or seasonal music and cruise around for a half hour. Yes, this is expensive in gas dollars, but often well worth the price for the sense of "escape" from the residence.

BOTTOM LINE: Visiting someone with memory loss (dementia) need not seem so stressful- relax, smile, hug, laugh...and your friend will, too. And hopefully, when we are the one with memory loss, our friends and families will return the favor.

Healthy Teens, a Music Video, YouTube and STDs??

What can healthy teens, a music video, YouTube and STDs have in common? The 12 Days Of April- aka. "GET TESTED!!" Wonderful teens Catherine "Cat" Butler, Kat G., Nate & Connor McLauchlan all agreed that posting a video on YouTube that featured teens singing about STDs might just be an effective way to reach their peers with an important message. Huge thanks to Dona LeBlanc for her beautiful voice and creative playscape, as well as to her son, Matt for his participation in our dress rehearsal and creative costume additions. Kudos to Richard Lampert, our videographer and computer expert, for his time, talents, and humor. Thanks to Coni for her artwork, and to all the teens' parents for having open minds about letting their kids help other teens with an awkward topic!

So why SING about sexually transmitted diseases? Well, why not? Songs creep into your brain and often crop up years later when something triggers a memory. Picture this-in the middle of a frat party in December, the 12 Days of Christmas starts playing, and instead of "Five Golden Rings" the reminder "Most STDs are SILENT- GET TESTED!" pops into a few mildly intoxicated brains! How great would that be?

Click this to see video: http://www.jillgrimesmd.com/audiovideo-12days.html

BOTTOM LINE: We've got to think out of the box to find new methods to teach people the facts about sexually transmitted diseases so they can make educated choices and preserve their health and fertility.