True Gift of LOVE for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is already upon us- what happened to January? Are you still figuring out your New Year's Resolutions, or have you already forgotten the ones you chose? At any rate, we are indeed well into February of 2012, and the onslaught of high calorie holidays continues...with next week's Valentine's chocolates topping the list.

This year, why not show your love in a better way to support your loved one's health? I LOVE chocolate, but why not give a half-dozen chocolate covered strawberries, rather than a whole box of candy? Better yet, meet your sweetheart for a moonlight stroll around the lake (or city, or park). Write him a list of the top ten reasons he makes you smile, or send her a gift card for a pampering manicure!

If your honey is an award-winning athlete and truly heart healthy, knock yourself out sending high calorie treats or splurging on a five course meal. BUT, if you are like the vast majority of Americans, and you and/or your sweetheart really need to increase your overall fitness and decrease your waistline, show you REALLY love your partner by giving them a gift that will improve the quality and length of your lives together!


BOTTOM LINE: Let's support our loved ones and give gifts that spread joy, not waistlines!

Gifts that Keep On Giving

'Tis the season of giving, and many of us are trying to find the perfect gifts for our friends and families. Before you choose gift baskets loaded with wine, chocolate, and other delicious goodies, though, stop and think. Is this the right gift for your friend who is struggling with her weight or your brother who has high cholesterol and "borderline" diabetes? Well, maybe not, but hey, it's the holidays, right? Doesn't everyone deserve a little treat? And they LOVE chocolate...

Well, yes, I agree that everyone deserves a treat, but is it really a treat if we're giving them something that harms their bodies or works against their health goals? If your friend is fit and healthy, knock yourself out with edible treats with a clear conscience. BUT... if they are NOT, why not focus on gifts that encourage health? Mind you, I'm not suggesting sticking a bow on a bag of carrots, either. How about fun workout socks or a new top? Buy matching pedometers for you and a buddy or two for some friendly competition or at least mutual encouragement. How about a gift certificate for a massage or manicure or pedicure? Or a new healthy cookbook? Out of money (and who isn't?) Make a gift certificate for a outing to a park or walk around the lake or a bike ride. Be creative!

I would be remiss if I also didn't put in a pitch for charitable giving this year. In this tough economy, our non-profits are struggling, too, so consider them as an alternative if you have friends or business associates with whom you typically exchange gift baskets. Our local Hospice, for example, has a program where you can purchase an angel ornament for $25- your gift recipient gets the ornament, Hospice gets the funds, and everyone gets the spiritual health gift of helping others! (http://www.hospiceaustin.org/site/pp.asp?c=bdJPITMyA&b=1556229) Or Meals on Wheels, where $25 provides ten meals plus services. There are so many wonderful charities who can stretch your donation dollars!

BOTTOM LINE: Think twice before sending out edible treats to ALL your friends and family this year, and show you really care by giving gifts that promote physical, mental or spiritual health! Happy Holidays!

World’s Best Mother’s Day Present (Even After the Fact)

What if I told you it was possible for you to give a present to your mother (or arrange for your kids to give a present to their mother) for Mother’s Day that had four characteristics: (1) it costs only a few pennies, (2) it takes little effort for most people to create it, (3) it had a high probability of making her cry (in a good way) and (4) it would be one of the things she’d be sure to grab in the (hopefully unlikely) event of a house fire? Interested? Well that gift is to write her [or arrange for your kid(s) to write her] a gratitude letter.

Gratitude letters are usually around 300 words in length, but can be as long as you’d like. (Kids in elementary school might write briefer letters and/or draw pictures instead.) The letter is in the first person (i.e., “you are so loving in how you treat me when I am sick” not “my mom is so loving when I’m sick”). To be more personal, write it out by hand. The letter should express only positive thoughts and feelings and should not include direct or indirect statements regarding your mom’s failings or opportunities for growth.Try to include examples of specific things that your mom has done or said that cause you to feel gratitude; these examples can be recent or from a long time ago. When it’s time to share the letter it’s best to read it to her (kids might rotate doing this one-on-one on Mother’s Day); don’t chicken out and hand it over for her to read. You may start to tear up or get emotional. That’s okay (you'll probably find you're not the only one). When you’re finished give it to your mom. Allow the positive moment to linger as long as she’d like (i.e., some of us, though we enjoy it, may start to feel a little uncomfortable with the intimacy that can emerge); in other words, your mom should decide when to end the moment or change the topic. (If you are reading this after Mother’s Day don’t let that stop you from trying it!)

You can also find a lot of satisfaction in writing gratitude letters for others, in your family or otherwise, towards whom you have unexpressed gratitude, be it ancient or recent. The experience is usually very positive, and often to a surprising degree.

BOTTOM LINE: Surprise your MOM or ANYONE you love with a "gratitude letter", and I'll bet YOU will be delighted as well. Thanks to Dr. Palmiter for today's guest blog entry.

Dr. David Palmiter is a practicing clinical psychologist and psychology professor in Scranton, PA. He is also the President-Elect of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association and the author of Working Parents, Thriving Families: 10 Strategies that Make a Difference His blog can be found at www.hecticparents.com.

Mother's Day Gifts- Get Ready!

Mother's Day is coming this weekend, just as we are polishing off the last chocolate eggs from the Easter basket. Hmm...sounds a bit like Halloween and also Valentine's Day, right? Why is it that most of our American holidays focus on CANDY? Mind you, I love chocolate, but the truth is that I have been popping beautiful pastel peanut M&M's into my mouth each time I pass through my kitchen and hear the Easter candy bowl calling my name.

At the same time that we are fretting about trying on swimsuits and fitting into summer clothing, we are working to "finish up" the Easter candy. Kind of counter productive, isn't it? So, first of all, let's give away the rest of the candy (if it's still sitting around.) Secondly, let's pamper Mom with gifts she'll enjoy that promote her health- physical, mental or spiritual.

So, what do moms like? Are you feeling rich? Offer her spa certificates or maybe a gym membership. Not quite so loaded? How about a simple manicure (usually around $15) or a lovely smelling candle or body lotion, or a new exercise outfit? Totally broke? No worries- go for HOME MADE; a simple meal (that MOM does NOT have to prepare OR clean up), cleaning her car inside and out, or jumping in and doing "her" jobs for the day, like a load of laundry or walking the dog.

If you REALLY want to touch your Mom's heart, check back tomorrow see what my guest blogger, psychologist David Palmiter,PhD, thinks is the PERFECT gift for Mom or anyone you truly love...

BOTTOM LINE: Skip the chocolate this year and celebrate MOTHER's DAY with a health-promoting gift!

My Valentine to YOU!

Happy Valentine's Day! I have decided to give you, my patients, AND myself a special Valentine- a free "do-over" for any New Year's Resolutions that have perhaps fallen to the wayside. Did you promise to head to the gym after work three days per week, but now a heavy snowstorm blocked your way for a few days, and you simply dropped the whole thing after missing a week? What about walking your dog each morning- same excuse? In Austin, we had SNOW on the ground last week, but today it is literally 73* and SUNNY, so we need to head back outside.

How about eating more plants and less processed stuff? If the main GREEN in your diet is a Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie, it's time to focus on more color. Even if your choice today is a chocolate covered strawberry vs. chocolate truffles, take that step and grab the luscious strawberries.

Whatever derailed YOUR good intentions, please use this "get out of jail free" card to cut yourself some slack, and START OVER TOMORROW (or better yet, TODAY!) And if your sweetheart asks what you'd like for Valentine's Day, ask for something that will promote your health, like new work out shoes or clothes, a pedometer, a heart rate monitor, or even a gym membership or an exercise bike! If you are still deciding what to get YOUR Valentine, and he or she hates the idea of exercising and you think a gift like that would offend them, at least choose a pampering gift that wont undermine their weight loss efforts, such as a gift certificate for a manicure or massage.

BOTTOM LINE: Enjoy this Valentine's Day and refocus on your HEART healthy habits for 2011!

Hospice at the Holidays?

Okay, I know what you're thinking...why talk about HOSPICE at the holidays? Isn't that kind of depressing? While Hospice care can be a tough subject, I actually ALWAYS think of Hospice at the holidays, for several reasons.

1. I believe everyone who works at Hospice is an ANGEL. Period.

2. Hospice provides a tremendous service that is a beautiful gift not only for the patients themselves, but for the families, too. Their job every day is to help with the physical and emotional needs of people passing from this life on to the next, and they are comfortable with this transition in a way most of us are not. Their confidence and capabilities are amazing.

3. Holidays are especially tough for families who have lost someone in the past year, so remember to reach out in a special way to your family and friends in this situation.

4. One of my favorite gifts is our local Hospice's ANGEL. Each year, a local artist designs a new angel ornament, and these can be purchased on line and sent directly to your loved ones. Hospice benefits from the profits, your recipient gets a lovely angel, and everyone benefits!

BOTTOM LINE: Thinking of Hospice at the Holidays is fully in keeping with the peace and goodwill of the season. Please reach out to anyone you know who has lost a loved one in 2010.

Christmas Gift of HEALTH!

'Tis the season of giving, and many of us are trying to find the perfect gifts for our friends and families. Before you choose gift baskets loaded with wine, chocolate, and other delicious goodies, though, stop and think. Is this the right gift for your friend who is struggling with her weight? What about your mother-in-law who has high cholesterol and "borderline" diabetes? Well, maybe not, but hey, it's the holidays, right? Doesn't everyone deserve a little treat? And they LOVE chocolate...

Well, yes, I agree that everyone deserves a treat, but is it really a treat if we're giving them something that works against their health goals? If your friend is fit and healthy, knock yourself out with edible treats with a clear conscience. BUT... if they are NOT, why not focus on gifts that encourage health? Mind you, I'm not suggesting sticking a bow on a bag of carrots, either. How about fun workout socks or a new top? Buy matching pedometers for you and a buddy or two for some friendly competition or at least mutual encouragement. How about a gift certificate for a massage or manicure or pedicure? Or a new healthy cookbook? Or-gasp- a plain old BOOK book-by your favorite author? Need a suggestion? Try ANY of Jeff Abbott's thrillers! Out of money (and who isn't?) Make a gift certificate for a outing to a park or walk around the lake or a bike ride. Be creative!

BOTTOM LINE: Think twice before sending out edible treats to ALL your friends and family this year, and show you really care by giving gifts that promote physical, mental or spiritual health! Happy Holidays!